I should have started work an hour ago. But here I am.

Last night, dinner with new friends. Their daughter and my daughter talking non-stop. I loved to see it. Later, she said in answer to my questions, Mom, I don't feel the need to share with you what we talked about. Okay. The mother backs off gracefully.

This small town has the ability to eat you up and spit you out. Especially if you are new and a youth. I've seen it happen again and again. Somehow there isn't room for the new here. And me, I find myself hanging on in this small town way too long to hurt. I reflect on how I spend an inordinate much time focused on the grief caused by one person. I let it eat me up. As a matter of fact, I live off of it. I think, in error, that it makes me strong. I mean, I feel strong in hating (yeow!) this person. Wouldn't you? Nursing resentment is a pretty unhealthy way to live, but somehow, you feel like it nurses you. So, in honor of my post below, about hanging on with clenched hands, I've decided it's time for some inner work. Time to focus on, well, liking this person for now. Or at least forgiving this person and wishing the best for her. Prying my fingers open very slowly.