"There's a woman who is offering a spirit like wine
And a man in a suit who's trying to sell you God,
Close your eyes, bow your head,
Sing without a sound.
You can take off your shoes,
You're on Holy Ground."
~Carrie Newcomer

The sky broods today with April rain. Last night, Kim and I, we sat in the Mexican restaurant and complained about our lives. A release, catharsis. I think with me it's always unmet expectations. And I'm never together enough to give what I need to give. In my head I spin a new community, wider than those who share my faith in this small town. And it's populated with women who have more on their minds than their children's musical abilities or how to network to "get things done." I don't want to get things done; I want to live out my days, well, living out my days. One task at a time. There's an order to life but I'm out of sync. Things are chaotic. (Just look at this desk!) And it's my own laziness holding me back.

I also want people to be kind. Kindness is good. It covers a multitude of inequities. I want to be kinder to others, and I want people in this town to be kind to my family. Well, I'll just be specific here. I want people to be kinder to my child. (Whoops, that chip on my shoulder is showing again.) I've got to do some kind of inner work here on forgiveness.

So will my life be enhanced by being organized, kinder, and forgiving? Hmmm.