You know, when other people's kids are mean to your kids, and your kids are pretty big, it tears you up. If they're too old for you to intervene, and it's nonviolent meanspiritedness, there isn't a whole lot you can do except dry the tears, try to listen, advise if they're up for it, and simmer over it. It really ticks me off, my hands are tied, and I can't figure out any other way to help. Sometimes they just have to make their own way through the twisted relationship web. Looking for some grace in all of it.